I posted the photo on Facebook too.

It's astonishing how a photo of myself can cause such a stir. I take a photo of some nice scenery and there's not a murmur.

"But it doesn't look like you!"

"It makes you look 80 years old"

"Chill Mum! The fact of the matter is you are both getting old!"

"You look so different to the guy I knew in the 80s!"

"It's a horrible photo!"

"I'm not commenting on it or liking it [on Facebook] in case it appears on my timeline and my friends see it!"

Me: "Well ok... I suppose no one would want to see me coming the other way down a dark alley."

Response: "The darker, the better. At least then they won't be able to see your face!"

4. Go into Starbucks.

5. Post a second selfie!